This might or might not come as a surprise for you if you know me, but I've suffered from loneliness a lot. And I know many other people do too. As usual our paths with my good friends from high school and college separated after we all went to study in different towns and universities. Obviously I've always had at least one close friend, but it means that oftentimes your work schedules don't match especially when you'd need it the most. So what did I do?
I complained. And ate ice cream. Lots of it. Especially Ben & Jerry's which by the way is NOT light on calories! And watched a lot of Netflix. Went to the gym every now and then. Started painting. Walked around the city a lot by myself. As you can tell none of these really helped me in finding new friends. I did found a lot of new kilograms to walk with though! And very little happiness.
During this time I had a few boyfriends, but even they didn't seem to cure my loneliness at all. Sometimes even quite the opposite. I was not feeling lonely only when I was hanging out with my best friend or with my family, which was quite rarely since we all lived in different cities. Eventually I became single again and decided not to have a new boyfriend until I had found happiness alone. I decided to move to the capital, a bit closer to my best friend. Also I decided to have housemates again - full five of them! For a while I stopped feeling too lonely and then we came to Australia to travel where I found my passion in sailing. Which meant I stayed here alone to follow my dreams. Fast forward I met Josh and we moved to the remote town of Kalgoorlie to get back on our feet after covid started. And I was lonely AGAIN! But this time I made a conscious effort of trying to make new friends. I joined a choir and started going to yoga. We were happy to have landed jobs that allowed us to get our finances back on track, but it was on the cost of not being too social for almost a year. Even though everyone we worked with were really nice, the people in a remote mining town just weren't interested in the same things as we were and didn't share the same values so it was hard to make any really good friends.
I have a strong faith in following your dreams and passions - as long as you do what you feel like you're supposed to be doing and make yourself happy, the rest will follow. You attract what you are. So we started adventuring! Every chance we got we escaped to the coast to do little road trips and hikes. Even though we were sometimes dead tired after a swing we still went. Rain or sun, night or day, we drove to the coast. And I noticed it started working!
Doing things we enjoyed we met some amazing like minded people who are now some of our best friends. Soon enough we bought our beloved Vellamo and moved to the coast. Every day we do things we are passionate about and enjoy doing, and what do you know! Now we have so many like minded good friends that we're struggling to find time to see everyone as often as we would like to! For the first time in my life, I'm not feeling lonely anymore. I feel like I've found my tribe. Heck, there's even messages waiting for me in my phone when I wake up!
If you haven't heard of law of attraction, look it up. I'm more than convinced now that it truly works. I wanted adventures and to be creative so I became a sailor and learned how to play instruments and do photography - and now I'm surrounded with people who go on adventures with me! People who are compassionate and creative, who enjoy long deep chats about the world and dance into the night with me like no one is watching. People who don't care whether it's sunny or raining, who cook vegetarian food for you even though it's not their choice of a diet, who look after you when a storm is approaching and who message you in the morning to invite you with them just for a coffee at the beach. Even if there is nothing to say but just sit there sipping coffee together.
I have finally cured my loneliness. And did it all by myself. Oh well, Josh might have helped a bit. Or a lot haha!
I'll share here a few links if you want to read more about the law of attraction:
Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now
Rhonda Byrne - The Secret
Tony Robbins' thoughts on the topic: